Question: “I’ve been going out on dates again lately, and I
realized…
I have a problem. I know this might sound weird, but I really can’t
tell if a guy is actually flirting with me, or just trying to “be nice” to me to
avoid being awkward.
How can I tell if a guy is flirting with me or just playing
games?”
-Karen
-Karen
Well, Karen, this is a question I surprisingly get a lot.
Flirting gives you warm, tingly butterflies and can send a
jolt of electricity through your veins. When a guy you can’t help but be
attracted to is flirting with you, you can’t help feel like you’re high.
Except, what if you don’t know whether he is or isn’t
flirting with you?
I know how confusing it can be when you think a guy is
flirting with you, but you can’t tell if he’s just being nice or if he’s
actually attracted to you.
Or maybe you’re in a situation where there are subtle things
he does you’re trying not to read too much into, but in your gut you just get
the feeling that he’s flirting. But then you doubt yourself and wonder if
you’re just imagining things.
And let’s be real, reading body language is kind of
difficult.
It’s hard to tell if a guy is really smiling at you because
he finds you cute and funny… or because you have something stuck in your teeth.
And the constant knot of worry in your chest only grows as
the date goes on and time passes! You begin reading into every single thing he
does in case you miss out on some “glaringly obvious” social cue, and you try
to do it without being obvious about it yourself.
It doesn’t have to be that way though. All you need to do is
look for these signs.
1. The Smile
Everyone has a different smile. Some people smile with their
mouth closed and some smile with their teeth. (And some guys are just plain
shy!) However, if you notice him smiling at you with a gleam in his eyes,
there’s a really large chance he is interested in you.
2. He Treats You Specially
When he talks to you, he leans forward and pays attention to
you when he might not do that with other women. If he focuses on you
more than other on women, it means he likes you.
The key thing to note here though is some guys are just
naturally flirty and charming around women. Just because a guy talks and
listens to a woman doesn’t specifically mean he likes her intimately.
Again, pay attention to how he treats other women. If he
treats you the same way, he probably isn’t flirting, but if he gives you more,
or special attention, he most likely is.
3. He Touches You
A lot of guys subconsciously try to touch and connect with
the women they like. He may simply let his hand touch yours for longer than
necessary when handing you something, or he may lean in and touch your arm when
talking. If he seems to be looking for a reason to touch you, he is likely
flirting with you. This leads to my next sign…
4. He Leans In
Body language can be difficult, but this is super easy to
remember. If you notice a guy lean in and turn his shoulder to you while you
are speaking to him, he is subconsciously focusing on you (and likely
flirting)!
5. He Remembers What You Say
Whether it’s a joke or a story, if he’s taking special
interest in you he will remember what you say. I’ve noticed that (whether I
w ant to or not) I will always remember what a woman I’m flirting with says. I
can’t help it, it’s like I’m laser focused on everythin g about her when she’s
around me.
6. He Asks You If You’re Single (Or
Hints At It)
If a guy ever expresses interest in
whether or not you are single, he wants to kno w if you’re available. It’s an
almost universal and “not so subtle” way to flirt.
And if he says something like, “how
come a girl like you is single…” that’s him flirting.
7. The Blush
As I said earlier, some guys are just
plain shy! If you notice that a shy man is blushing around you, it’s one of the
most apparent signs he is trying to flirt with you. Any guy can blush when
flirting though, so this does not just apply to shy guys.
8. The Nervous Twitch
If you see him fidgeting around,
playing with his hair, randomly shifting in his seat, or even grabbing his ear
then he’s nervous… and for a good reason too. This is because h e is trying to
flirt (and probably doesn’t know how or feels insecure because he wants to
impress you).
These are some of
the most common signs of flirting.
Now, with that said… flirting does
NOT mean he wants to be in a relationship. Some guys flirt because they want to
hook up. The major difference between a flirt, and a “nice guy” is that a nice
guy will commonly avoid eye contact, physical touch, and committing to anything
past “I’ll call you”.
If he doesn’t seem emotionally
invested (and that is what you want) then know that he probably isn’t,
and you shouldn’t worry about that guy (unless you are okay with a casual non
committed fling). But if you want something more, focus on the guy who is
focused on you, and you will find yourself having a much happier
dating life.
Until next time,
Nick Bastion
source: http://www.vixendaily.com/
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